Circle of Red

Ten Things (in no particular order)

2009-11-10T08:37:00.005+11:00

I am grateful for....

Having finished my two night duties for this roster. They were nice easy shifts too!
Coffee dates before second night duty. This serves a dual purpose. One is to chat with a good friend about the the universe and the other is to load up on Caffeine!
That today is a beautiful sunny day which will motivate me to stay awake and not sleep the day away, but rather to head to the Wetlands and take some more photos so that I have more of a choice in which shot to send in to the photography comp.
The life that "Frog" got to have before being squished by a car. Yep, little Frog that formerly visited us on the front veranda and had his photo taken by me just days ago, was found to be in a very deceased state yesterday morning as I returned from work. R.I.P Frog. You lived a good life.
The life that "Black Boy", one of our four little fish, had before dying of natural causes. Yep, little Black Boy that formerly shared a tank with "Specks", "White Boy" and "Big Red" was found to be in a very deceased state this morning as I returned from work. R.I.P Black Boy. You lived a good life.
My friends and the time I get to spend with them. Old friends and new friends. An excellent balance that keeps me learning more about myself every day.
My book collection...... coupled with my magical BUILT IN BOOK SHELVES!
My husband who is always willing to lend a helping hug.
My daughter, who keeps me in one place, both in mind and body.
My camera. ..... cause its my most favorite material possession.

There you go Michelle!

The Wetlands - Photography Practice

2009-11-05T12:30:00.002+11:00

His name is "Frog"

2009-11-04T18:04:00.001+11:00

.... and he lives with us!

Lazy.

2009-11-03T09:02:00.002+11:00

I used to have high expectations of myself.

I used to deliver.

Now people expect less and less of me, I expect less and less of me.

And in turn, I am delivering less and less.

When did that happen?

Why did I let that happen?

I used to be proud of myself for the things I had achieved on my own.

Now I have support all around me and I am achieving nothing.

Sad.

Something to make you smile....

2009-10-30T10:03:00.003+11:00

Graceful, no?

OK.... not so graceful.....

Tee hee - First school photos!

2009-10-26T10:45:00.000+11:00

Love

2009-10-23T09:27:00.005+11:00

Sometimes I just watch Ruby do whatever she is doing and just marvel at how organised/funny/intelligent she is.
Sometimes I wish other people could be there to see it because I think she must be the first two year old ever in the history of the world to draw a picture of a whale/prepare her own breakfast/read books to her toys while pretending to be the teacher/dress herself in a t-shirt, fairy dress and pink thongs /count backwards from ten to blastoff ... etc
Then I remember she is not the first and people would probably be pissed if I asked them over to the house purely to observe my daughter in her daily routine.
Sometimes I cant believe how much I love this little person.
Sometimes I cant believe how much she loves me.

2009-10-22T10:02:00.001+11:00

Have a day off today.

Have a day off and NOTHING PLANNED!

Woot!

This is amazing for us.

I am going to enjoy it.

Before and After

2009-10-19T11:11:00.004+11:00

Here is a photo of me getting ready for my party.

Here is a photo of me at the end of the night.

Beautiful.

I had a great time though!

So wonderful to be able to look around and see your favorite people and know they are there because they want to celebrate with you.... and you know.... because there was food.

But today is officially the day that I have turned old.

My age has a '3' in front of it now..... unless I follow one friends advice and just say I am 29a.

Will think about it.

OK, I am 30!!!!!!!!!

What happens now?

SMOOOOOOOOCH
Yes, that was for you!

Charlie Fensom

2009-10-18T20:32:00.002+11:00

That is the name that Ruby has given to her new Teddy Bear.

I tried to name it 'Porridge' but I was overruled.

Could not have said it better myself!

2009-10-14T13:53:00.006+11:00

(Words from the C. Aguilera song, Fighter)

After all that you put me through,
You think I'd despise you,
But in the end I want to thank you,
Beause you've made me that much stronger

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, oh no, you're wrong
Because if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I want to say thank you
Cause it

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

I heard you're going round playing the victim now
But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame
Because you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies now you're wanting to haunt me
But that wont work anymore, no more,
It's over
Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
Because it

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this person I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretend not to know the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
YOU-WONT-STOP-ME

I am a fighter and I
Im not gonna stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

You thought i would forget
But I remembered
Of course i remembered
I remembered
You thought i would forget
I remembered
Of course i remembered
I remembered

(Words taken from the C. Aguilera song, Fighter)

nsuvfharno'v'auirvho'gh !!!

2009-10-12T09:49:00.002+11:00

Why are my timber blinds taking so long to arrive? 7 weeks and counting is really not acceptable, especially when we have paid in full! They have not even been made yet according to the lady at Spotlight!
Why do I look so fat in the picture in the paper? I have not seen it, but husband assures me, I look rotund to the max which is uncool because everyone at work looks at the social pages on a Monday. Stupid Herald man at stupid Cottage art opening thingy.
Why is it that the only really positive thing I can think of at the moment is that I got a high score in the Blitz?
Why wont husband agree to a holiday overseas? We would be spending the same amount of money to go to Byron for a week as we would to go to Vanuatu for a week. I don't get it. Is it a comfort zone thing?
Any holiday is good though, right? I would be looking forward to going anywhere, as long as its away!
Why is coffee so good?
Why am I on the computer instead of doing all the housey things I NEED to be doing?

Sooooooo advanced.

2009-10-10T19:34:00.006+11:00

Ruby thought she might do some drawing tonight.

I thought I might join her.

While she was busy I drew this.....

Thought I was pretty clever, until I saw that she had drawn this.....

(Note the blue sky, eyes, nose, mouth, ears (or are they hands) and legs complete with feet)

And then she drew this...

(Apparently this one was daddy, and he was impressed as she even drew him the correct colour!)

Amazing.

Especially the second one, although it looks like Daddy might in fact be a pumpkin.

I am so proud of her !!!!!

Photos of something other than the Red Kid

2009-10-08T20:42:00.003+11:00

IMAPRINCESSIMAPRINCESS!!!!

2009-10-07T02:28:00.003+11:00

2009-10-04T04:10:00.000+11:00

I am Farkled.

Why not?

2009-09-30T12:34:00.004+10:00

Need to have another child purely to give Ruby a break from me .....

I just am....

2009-09-27T15:43:00.004+10:00

Have broken the fast with the family at a lovely little cafe in Newcastle. Good coffee.

Have shopped at Kotara and returned kids thongs.... because kids and thongs don't really go together.

Have purchased two small photo albums, purely to house some of the Red Baby photos from the past two years and seven months.

Have not ventured into the garden today as the wind makes me crazy.

Have finished my book and am now going to read a play.

Have been recruited to night duty tonight so hopefully will be finished said play by 0730 tomorrow morning.

Have handed in my application forms to commence some Post Grad studies next year. Am yet to find out if I have a place as I have left this application far too late.

Am awaiting news from close friend Ally who was due to have her baby yesterday but didn't, so she is running really late which is most inconvenient.

Am heading to dinner tonight with M.I.L and F.I.L with plans to win several trays of meat at the Mozzie Raffles.

Am planning to drink lots of coffee at said dinner.

Am a little worried about my car. It has started coughing and spluttering and not changing gears. Captain White Husband is on the job... but who knows what that means.

Am sick of this weather. Am wind blown and chaffed and out of sorts.

Am learning about "The Exposure Triangle".

Am listening to Ruby complain that the bow tie on her skirt has "lost its mother" which means one side has lost the other side.... or.... as the rest of the world might put it, its not tied up! She is a funny one.

This complaint came straight after she was putting socks on that would not go on straight. I said, they look ok to me Ruby, good job! ..... Her reply was, "Mum, its not good enough".

Am listening to Captain White Husband rev the bejebus out of my car.

Am hungry.....

Just because.....

2009-09-25T14:55:00.001+10:00

Turning 30 in a minute

2009-09-24T09:13:00.004+10:00

Am smiling.

Have been in a nice little bubble and have been letting everything just slide right off the side.

Nicer that way.

One thing that has been penetrating the bubble though, is when Ruby and I are alone she has started saying things things like, "Mummy, you dont have to go to work ever ever again", or "You can stay home with me, you dont have to go to work", and "Daddy can go to work but you should stay home Mummy..."

etc

Does she not know that there is already guilt there without her rubbing it in?

So advanced.

Even as I type this Ruby is putting her baby up on the lounge with a pillow and blanket, kissing her and telling her she has to go to work.

In other news, I am 30 in a minute.

Am determined that the 30's are going to be better and more productive than the 20's. I was lazy in the 20's. Only doing what was absolutely necessary to get by. In the 20's I lost myself a little bit in amongst it all.

But, we are supposed to be positive right?

So....

In the 20's I also....

Moved from Newcastle to Sydney in order to spread wings a little
Had a complete left knee reconstruction on my 21st birthday
Moved from semi-managing a cafe, to being a telephone operator, to a secretary, to a well paid personal assistant in a short period of time...
Was in love and was loved in return
Traveled to England, France and Egypt
Lived in London, making friends there that I am still in contact with
Remained close with the majority of my old school friends
Completed a psychology course at Sydney Uni
Lived through a broken heart and a bit of a broken spirit
Had a life long friend pick me up and shake me about and have me fall in love with him
Completed a Bachelor of Nursing at Sydney Uni
Stood up for myself in regards to my mother and became a stronger person for it.
Turned diary writing into blogging (!!!)
Gave birth naturally to a beautiful baby girl
Was engaged and then married to an amazing person that I have loved, laughed with, held hands with and smiled about every day of my life since.
Learned how to be a mother... probably the hardest thing Ive ever had to do.
Got a tattoo that means a lot to me and reminds me each day of how I have to live.
Got the exact post graduate job that I wanted in Pediatric Nursing when there were only 3 positions available in Newcastle
Got permanent employment in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit which is exactly where I want to be.
Made new and wonderful friends
Purchased a beautiful house and made it a home
Lived through depression requiring medication, coming out the other side a medication free Red Mother that knows enough about herself to keep her head above the water when times are tough.
Realized a real passion for photography and enrolled in a course at the School of Photography that is to start THE WEEK I turn the big 3-0.

So......... when I think positively I have some to be proud about.

However, the 30's require a different type of activity. A more matured but also a more carefree Red Mother.

A Red Mother that accepts the things she cant change, but has the courage to change the things she can.

A Red Mother, a Red Wife and a Red Friend that does not sweat the small stuff.

A Red Kristy that learns more and more about herself and expands on it all when she can.

Make the most of it!

This is the goal. We have to have goals right?

Sheesh....... lots of pressure on turning 30!

Today

2009-09-18T17:52:00.004+10:00

2009-09-18T13:35:00.001+10:00

Yawn.

Sorry left knee.... the time has come.

2009-09-11T11:59:00.004+10:00

Sigh.

Am so athletic.

Am so sporty and wondrous.

Am so incredibly thin!

Its a marvel really.

Have received the all clear from Knee Specialist fellow who informed me that yes I will have pain when I exercise but that I must suck it up because ligament weakness causes pain which causes fluid build up which in turn causes further ligament weakness with in turn causes further pain etc.

No quick fix...... unless it snaps again.

So...... I am back to being sporty and wondrous...... back into netball, starting at the gym again and just got back from a run down at the park with Toby who just could not believe his eyes.

He is probably going to go and tell all the other dogs how athletic and marvelous his mum is.

Probably.

Hopefully my return to exercise will also bring me back to life in general.

I fear I have been absent.

Sigh.

Here is a photo of me getting ready for swimming....

Yep. Its a marvel.

Yep....

2009-09-10T09:04:00.000+10:00

Caution......Nudity

2009-09-08T11:39:00.007+10:00